There’s what happened and then there’s what you tell yourself happened.

If I had a quarter for every time a man hit a woman and then said, “I’m sorry Sweetheart, it will never happen again,” I would be a millionaire.  

After it happened to me, the first thought that went through my mind, Me, I said to myself, What did I do that was so wrong, or to make him so angry that he needed inflict violence and make me feel pain?  A direct violation against another human being?  Am I a bad person?  A hundred and one questions start running through your mind, and then another hundred and one thoughts.  You think or wonder about the very beginning of the situation and say Hey!  He hit me First!  He pushed me first!  He choked me for no reason, broke my arm and gave me a black eye.  Then you say to yourself, If I wouldn’t have this or shouldn’t have that or next time I’ll do better?  Right?  Your shoulders suddenly feel the weight of emotional turmoil but it’s within yourself.  This is where the phrase ‘No Gray Area’ comes from.  And know this: there are guys who hit but real men don’t.